So like seriously and I don't see this woman often in terms of living in LA
But like, I love this woman so much.
I love you so much.
She's so cool
No, but I haven't see her in forever
Like, she's so cool
She seems pretty fucking cool
Oh thanks Matt.
And like she shows up with a roll of toilet paper
That’s cuz you’re the shit. She's the shit. Like she repackaged that show for JJ Abrams. So I got her toilet paper to celebrate today
A whole show
Like that’s pretty fucking cool
Is this Hank Williams?
You’re not as hot as you think you are. Did I tell you about that story? Did I tell you about the roll of toilet paper story?
Oh no no you weren’t here
So I’m walking around with a roll of toilet paper and some guy yells that out and I'm like, really motherfucker?
Like I’m strutting
That was hilarious
I had this big roll of toilet paper I was carrying under my arm but he rolled down the window and was like, you’re not as hot as you think you are. And I just started laughing because I was like, I’m carrying a giiiiant thing of toilet paper!
Oh my god who says that?
It was a way...
Look, look...men project their weird shit on women all the time, ok.
It was a way to diminish me but I thought it was funny because I’m carrying a roll of toilet paper
It's not like I'm walking like this.
In my fucking heels like this.
Like I was carrying a big thing of toilet paper and I just started laughing hysterically.
Like he was insulting me but I thought it was funny
Women get all kinds of shit
But I thought it was funny I’m carrying a roll of like 16-ply right here and you think I’m the shit?
Like I know when I look hot and those days are not the days when I’m carrying a 16-ply of toilet paper like, fuck yourself I thought it was hiiilarious
What you gonna do...
You’re not as hot as you think you are. And I’m like, yes I am, actually
Goddam these taquitos are so good!
Why is the food so good here?
I was a chef you know.
At KFC. I was a chef. I was frying all that chicken. Like hundreds of chicken.
Oh no way.
I studied cooking in Italy.
Wait, where'd you go to school?
Well, I was only there for like a semester. But I loved cooking.
You learned to make fried chicken in Italy?
No, I made like Italian. Like so much Italian. Like meatballs and shit.
What'd you major in?
Oil painting. But I was like thinking Literature.
Oscar Wilde is my favorite poet.
No, Oscar Wilde was a playwright.
Oh no way.
But anyway the art department was like, you are soooooo talented you should be an oil painter. You like are the most talented oil painter.
You still painting?
Wendy's Twitter account caters to weed, man. No that's Arby's. Wendy's has the best Twitter account. The actress for Wendy's is married to one of the managers at Wendy's.
I work at Denny's.
That guy's wife is her. She doesn't wear her hair like that in real life, right. Never talk about Subway. Subway never even had a guy. But she's super chill. And she get hella wasted. When you're making that money. She got that Wendy's money.
Battle of the Sexes on Netflix.
His grandfather did that shit, man. His grandfather invaded South Korea. And the US has to come in on the landing. And it's crazy, bro. Trump doesn't know what's going on. She knows the game. He didn't study the fucking Korean War.
I can't eat rice. You don't have to eat the rice just eat the meat. Oh it's closed. What? No it's 24 hours, dude. No dude there's two. The one closer to us is open. I'm like part night rider.
Alright Andrew night to meet you.
White Republicans going to war. You talking about 2000 vs. now.
I'm taking the dog.
Bits & Pieces
A place for experimentation, a place for pieces unpolished and unpublished, a place to work out thoughts and ideas for larger collections. Typos aplenty. Enjoy (or not).